That feeling of happiness that words can’t describe – something that is coming from the innermost part of your soul; a fruit of the Holy Spirit working in your life – this is how I feel right this moment. Over the past few months, I only have one constant prayer to God,
“Lord, restore in me the joy of your salvation.”
“Lord, I’m tired of being depressed. How will I be happy again?”
“Lord, teach me to find my way back to you.”
Depression is not an easy place to get out of. It’s dark and scary with voices that seem to be coming from the bottomless pit of hell that could easily suck you in. And it’s so hard to find your way out because there seem to be always something pulling you back.
I couldn’t say that I got to this place quite instantly. No, the attack was a bit subtle. It started when I began listening to a voice that is not of God. Instead of heeding godly advice, I completely ignored it and went on with life doing MY way.
Like the story of the Prodigal Son who came back to his senses after squandering his inheritance, I realized I couldn’t make it on my own. I need God in my life. And I miss my Father.
As I tried to trace my footsteps and exactly where I fell, it became a lot easier for me to repent and ask God’s help to bring me back to the right track. I started spending more time in prayers, reading His Word, listening to preachings almost day and night and surrounding myself with godly people. My hunger and thirst for God grew together with my faith and trust in the Lord.
Indeed, there is no true happiness apart from God. I may artificially find it in the ‘world’ but it only last for a short time and its effect could not even touch the inner core of my being.
I have been re-born… perhaps for the third time!
Since then my prayers were not to have material possessions nor relationships just to fill my loneliness, but it changed to restoring my relationship with my Creator.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And He is faithful.
The joy I have right now is not artificial nor temporary. This joy is truly unspeakable! It’s sweeter because it took quite a journey to get here. I never thought at the time that I could even get out, but God took me by the hand and grab me out of that darkness. He is sooo good!
The reason I’m sharing this is so that I will not forget. As I know this life can be full of surprises and storms come to both the godly and the ungodly, rich or poor, young and old – so when things start to get shaky again, I will remember what God has done to me today. God is faithful. He never leaves my side and He loves me oh so much!
Thank you, Lord. ❤️😇🙏🏼