“Ask me… Ask… Ask… Ask…”
God kept on whispering this to my heart over the past several weeks. Everytime I would open my bible, it would point me to verses where there is this word, ‘ask’. I honestly don’t know why He’s telling me this. I know that I know how to ask. But what kind of asking is He actually teaching me here?
Last night, I had such a great time journaling my prayers. I have so many things going on in my heart that I just started pouring out everything that comes into my mind. In fact, I wrote so much that I didn’t realize I’ve already written four A4-sized back-to-back pages of prayers. And I was only praying about my own personal concerns at this point!
So anyway, early this morning at about 5 am, I was awaken by a sweet nudge. Then came this whisper again, “Ask me.” As these words keep repeating in my heart, I was reminded of the story of Esther, the Queen of Persia, especially during that crucial part of the story where all the Jews living in Persia have been decreed to be annihilated – and in order to stop this mass murder, the very brave Queen Esther risked her life and went to see the king unsummoned – approaching the throne unsummoned was against the Persian law and whoever broke this law will be executed. But fearlessly and for the sake of her people, Queen Esther went ahead saying, “If I perish, I perish.”
Well, we all know what happened in the end. The king didn’t order for her death. Instead, the king looked at her with favour and said, “What do you wish, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you—up to half the kingdom!” (Esther 5:3 NKJV)
That’s how I felt God was telling me at this point in my life. He’s asking me to ask Him anything – even half the kingdom! But for some reason, there was a part of me that was too afraid and hesitant to ask. Afraid because I’ve been disappointed so many times in my life. Afraid that I might get heartbroken again. Afraid that I might, ‘perish’ in the process. Yet, He reassures me that I won’t, that I can trust Him, that He looks at me with favour, and that He loves me.
He sits on the throne in heaven, my God, the King, the one who knows my beginning and end, the one who rules the universe is inviting me to come to Him right now. He delights in me and longs to hear my answer to His question, “What do you wish, my child? What is your request? It shall be given to you—up to half the kingdom!”
Wherever you are reading this, perhaps you’re in that same place like me. Perhaps you feel as if it’s too hard to ask an all-knowing God for anything because it seems impossible or you don’t want to come to Him because you have been disappointed so many times in your life that you lost count already. Perhaps, somebody made a promise to you and they didn’t keep and you’re afraid to trust anyone again, not even God. Perhaps, you need to learn how to ask again and expect… and believe.
I am yet to learn this myself but it is very reassuring to know that we do not have to hesitate nor be afraid because we will not perish, but live and have an everlasting life.
Imagine, the God of the universe saying this to you right now:
“I will declare the decree:
The Lord has said to Me,
‘You are My Son,
Today I have begotten You.
Ask of Me, and I will give You
The nations for Your inheritance,
And the ends of the earth for Your possession.” (Psalm 2:7-8)