“… a time to search and a time to give up.” Ecclesiastes 3:6
For the longest time, I have searched for completeness and happiness that only You can give. All those times, I struggled trying to find satisfaction in You. I’ve searched and looked everywhere for what could fill that empty void in my heart, only to end up tired and bruised. And the only way I could find is a way that heads back to You.
Even as a Christian, I fell into the trap of constant dissatisfaction. When I first knew You, I thought that was it! That I’ll never get lost again. But I was wrong. I was, at some point not satisfied in being with You. I was weak. A little temptation and deception here and there has caused me to pull back and drive to the wrong direction. For several years, I tried to do things by my own effort, arrogantly proving to You, to myself and to others that I know the right way to wholeness…until I reached a dead end.
And there was no other way but make a U-turn.
I know You let me wander around in my own creatively designed wilderness to test me and know what is in my heart. Forgive me, for ever trying to be wiser than You. I was a fool. I know nothing, You know everything.
Thank you for being so gracious to me inspite of what I have done; for holding me back to Your loving arms.
Because You love me.
So now, I am giving up my dreams and desires to You. Jesus, take the wheel. Whichever way we take, as long as You’re my driver, I know I am safe. I’m taking the back seat and enjoy the ride. After all, You know the way because You are the way, the truth and the life.
I am ready for this next journey.