Day 14: Fathers and Brides

“The king proclaims the LORD’s decree: “The LORD said to me, ‘You are my son. Today I have become your Father.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭2:7‬ ‭NLT‬

I love watching wedding videos. I always imagine myself as the beautiful bride walking down the aisle ushered by her parents as her handsome groom cheerfully awaits at the altar for the final ‘handover’.

I don’t know about you, but I know for most people – and for ladies especially – that they would cry the most at the moment when the couple exchanges their wedding vows. But for me, I don’t really find it so tear provoking. Perhaps because I already know what to expect. Weddings will always have a bride and a groom in it, right? Otherwise, there won’t be a wedding in the first place!

But for me, what would always bring me to tears is the moment when the bride walks in and her father meets her in the middle of the aisle, while the bride puts her hand around her daddy’s arm and he kisses her on the forehead and as they walk together to meet her groom and finally reaches the altar, her daddy gives her daughter’s hand to her groom. As he does, he whispers something sweet to his ear as if saying, “Please take good care of my princess.”

This particular scene is more than enough to make me cry. I feel my throat tightens as I fight those tears back. But no matter how hard I restrain them, I’d always end up in tears.

The pain of the loss was still there. My dad passed away when I was 20 years old. He never saw me graduate from college. He never saw me took that offer for my first fulltime job in the city right after school. Nor was he there to send me off when I first left my country to work overseas.

I would have loved him to be part of the ‘big moments’ in my life, and I always consider my own wedding to be THE ‘biggest moment’. Unfortunately, my wedding video will not be the same as the others as mine would have one major character missing in it. And this actually breaks my heart.

Moments like these drive me to self-pity. I’d think to myself, “That’s never gonna happen to me anymore because my dad is no longer here.”

As a Christian, we all believe that even if we no longer have an earthly father – whether our father passed away already or have abandoned us – we know that when we received Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we have become adopted sons and daughters, therefore, His Father – the Heavenly Father becomes our Father too.

It wasn’t easy for me to grasp this truth at first because the longing for an earthly father’s love remained in my heart and this was mostly manifested in my longing to have a relationship with men. However, as I draw myself closer to the Father through constant communion and prayer, I felt that void in my heart slowly being filled up.

I used to hate God (that was before I came to know Jesus) for taking my dad away. I blamed Him for a long time for causing most of the pain that my family suffered due to the loss. Until one day, God spoke to my heart as I was crying over a broken relationship and blaming Him again for the loss.

As the memories of all my broken relationships beginning from the loss of my dad up to the recent one re-surfaced, the Father, in His most loving and merciful character, gently rebuked and comforted me as He spoke saying,

“My child, I am not a taker. I am a giver. I gave up my one and only begotten Son because I heard your cries. I was there and each time, I’d come to rescue you because I love you so much. My Son took you for His bride, so I could become the Father you’ve always longed to have. Cry no more, my princess, my daughter, because I will never leave you nor forsake you. Nothing can ever separate you from Me… And when it’s your time to walk down that aisle, I will be the One holding your hand.” 

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32

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